The “things” we have will come and go, but the memories... will be with us forever.

SNE WOMAN (THE MAGAZINE); Speaks two trends; the importance and value of promoting local businesses, products and services and the general growing concept of living one's best life.

SNE WOMAN (THE BLOG); Touches on general issues facing women today. Like the publication, it's meant to help you come away with a renewed sense of self. To encourage you to learn something new. A tip or suggestion that makes you say... “I need to try this.”, or, “I never knew that before”. Hopefully this blog will become another tool for you to use, that will help you focus on finding the right questions, in order to make your life better, live your dream easier, and become a happier you.



My name is Pat Paolino Cruz and I am the creator here. I am a single mom with three kids and come from a loud Italian family. My kids are Italian and Hawaiian. Very cool combo if I do say so myself. I wear many hats and have created several different businesses which have kept me very connected to women. I am not a blogger or a writer, however, I thought it was important to chat directly to you. We are all different, but at the same time, are all the same. It isn't easy to do what we do. To wear all the hats we wear. There are so many topics that we can discuss here, together, that will help us along our paths. My hope is that you find something in one of the posts to comment on and share your own views. To offer your insight and personal stories that may in some way, help create clarity in another woman's life who may also be reading this blog. And, ok, here is a bit of information upfront... Sometimes I get so busy and I before you know it, another week is over. I know you can relate. Those are the times I may not be able to give you my own personally written story, however, I will give you something I believe has equal importance. A topic that helps us discuss something I really didn't know that much about to begin with, but believe it's something we can all benefit from by reading.

You know how the Seinfeld episodes were described... “The Show About Nothing.” Well, I think this blog will probably go in the same direction. There is nothing earth shattering I want to say. Nothing that will be “breaking news” for the week. Just stuff. Stuff about us. Stuff for us. Stuff to help us become better women. And I say “us” because I am in fact, a woman, with the same issues you have. Possibly more...lol.... In any event, it isn't easy being a woman today. Sometimes I find myself up at three in the morning (as I am now), researching, writing, responding or doing general follow up work I wasn't able to get to all day. I did take a little nap from about midnight (when Criminal Minds, my favorite show, was over) until about 2am when I woke up and thought... ugh, I forgot to...(fill in the blank). I'm sure you do the same thing. It's not that I was busy all day long, working 24/7. It's that, I have kids. It's summer and they are home with me. I have a home office which makes it easy for me to work on my own schedule. It may be the middle of the night, but it allows me to sit and hang out with my kids, take them to the beach on a hot day or just enjoy a movie together before they go to bed. I don't remember my parents spending much time with me when I was a kid. They were busy, they worked a lot. I don't want my kids to have “un-fun” memories. I enjoy being the “go to the beach mom”, or the “go camping (yes, in a tent) mom”, or the “let's go to the fireworks tonight mom”.

I know it's hard because we all have so many responsibilities.... Chef, maid, worker, bank, taxi service, mother, daughter, caretaker, teacher, activities specialist. Sometimes I slack off. I know I am completely at fault when it comes to putting off work to spend a little time with my kids. I know. Terrible thing to do when you have your own business but you know, I decided a long time ago that I didn't want to punch a clock. I wanted to be accessible for my kids and be a little more of a free spirit if I could. If I have to choose what's most important to me, it's to let my kids remember fun times. Like any kids, they will probably still think I worked too much anyway...lol... and I do work a lot, however, I want them to also remember that I wasn't afraid to get dirty. To sleep on the ground in a sleeping bag with them or to take off on a moment's notice for a quick picnic in the middle of the day. I know lots of women don't have the luxury of taking off in the middle of the day to do something special possibly by themselves (a long pedicure, an hour in the park with a blanket and a book), with friends, a spouse or with their kids, however, nights and weekends count and no matter what time you do have, you need to make the best of it. If you want to do it, you will find the time. In the end, no matter what you do in life, you learn that people and the moments are all that matter. Do what you can, to make them good ones.

Ok, I see already that I wrote about nothing. Actually, I wanted to just spill a bit of what was on my mind and give you a bit of the way I am. Maybe you've gotten the gist of the way I am in previous posts but for some reason, I felt like I wanted to start from scratch and take you from this point on. Maybe it's because I am getting ready to go to press with the next issue of the magazine and it's like a new beginning all over again. What ever it is, I hope that you stay with us and take some time once in awhile to write a few comments down yourself about what's going on in your life and what you would like to chat about. It really is all about us... women... the glue that holds everyone around us together.... and we do it with four bones that we women sport so fabulously... Our Funny bone, our backbone, our cheekbones and most importantly our wishbone...

Choose your priorities carefully... Wishing you happiness in your day!

10 Things You Can Learn About a Guy in 3 Dates or Less

I came across this little tidbit and couldn't help sharing with you. Interesting to get a man's perspectie on this... What do you think?


10 Things You Can Learn About a Guy in 3 Dates or Less

There are no absolutes in the world, save for the whole bit about death and taxes. This is espe­cially true in the dat­ing world. Dat­ing web­sites are sup­posed to help us with this, to a degree. How­ever, peo­ple tend to fluff them­selves and fil­ter out key pieces of infor­ma­tion aka “deal break­ers.” Get­ting to know some­one is fun, but the prob­lem is that it takes time… No one wants to waste time. So I’m gonna give the ladies a lit­tle some­thin’ some­thin’ to help with fil­ter­ing out men they may not be into.

1.Messy or Clean? - There’s a dif­fer­ence between a guy who lives per­fectly pris­tine, mildly mess or OMGWTFBBQFTL is that an Opos­sum watch­ing ‘Weeds’ on your couch, with the remote!!!? If you dig some­one who is metic­u­lous and, per­haps, a bit obses­sive with clean­li­ness this guy may be for you. A mildly messy guy shows some­one who is lose, goes with the flow and is open minded. They could also be sloppy, or just a bit lazy, if not imma­ture. Some­one liv­ing in what seems like the rem­nants of Cher­nobyl is some­one that has more issues going on than just their liv­ing area. Be pre­pared and bring your gloves.

2.Traf­fic: Man, traf­fic sucks, or You piece of @#$% go @#$% your­self!!!—A man’s tem­pera­ment should be a key indi­ca­tor to the suc­cess of any rela­tion­ship you look to jump into. A guy curs­ing at and run­ning cars off the road is a sure warn­ing sign, or it should be. Maybe you like guys with anger man­age­ment issues… It’s pos­si­ble to be too upset and too mel­low, they are extreme sides of the same coin, really. If a guy doesn’t care he’s just been cut off and put in dan­ger, then that could indi­cate that the guy doesn’t stand up for himself.

3.Pub­lic Dis­plays of Affec­tion (PDA) - As with the ‘Three Bears Story,’ there’s too much, too lit­tle and just right. Obvi­ously, it’s up to you to know which is right for you. A guy that’s hold­ing you and grop­ing you, oth­er­wise smoth­er­ing you, out in pub­lic prob­a­bly has a need to show you off, or to show that he’s got some­one and that the world needs to know about it. It’s val­i­da­tion, in some way. If the guy’s roman­tic way to end an evening is with a fist bump, then he’s prob­a­bly not sure if he’s really into you or not, or could be lack­ing confidence.

4.What Does he Order for Din­ner?—What your guy orders can be telling also. Is he a mac and cheese kind of guy. Does he avoid the hip eatery around the cor­ner? Does he run and hide at the men­tion of a late night taco truck run? Is he oth­er­wise happy with Ham­burger helper? These are not inher­ently bad things. They just serve as a gauge for you to know how open he is to dif­fer­ent things. Some­one that isn’t into exotic foods, or just try­ing new and dif­fer­ent places may be some­one not keen for try­ing too many dif­fer­ent things…

5.How Does He Pre­fer to Com­mu­ni­cate?—Does your guy send you text mes­sages all the time? Does he take the time to call? If he has to break his plans will call, email or text you? If he calls you more often than not, espe­cially when some­thing comes up, this indi­cates that he’s a bit more con­sid­er­ate and able to pony up and “be a man” when things get rough. If he’s tex­ting a lot, or email­ing, he may just not be sure if he’s com­pletely into you, or sim­ply, he may not be as mature as you’d like.

6.His Group of Friends. —The entourage that he rolls with; who do the con­sist of? Are they high school friends, nearly exclu­sively? Or is it a pretty good mix of peo­ple from var­i­ous stages of his life? If he keeps the com­pany of the peo­ple that he’s known since high school (aka for­ever) then he may have issues with trust and/or could be averse to change or step­ping out­side of his com­fort zone. This could also indi­cate a strong sense of loy­alty. If his cir­cle of friends has a large vari­ety then, yeah, that’s some­one who’s not afraid to mix things up and prob­a­bly open to newer expe­ri­ences and offers some­thing new more often.

7.Does He Have a Favorite Team? - Men who really enjoy sports also tend to have a com­pet­i­tive atti­tude and also tend to be pas­sion­ate. This is also some­thing that he may share with his bud­dies on a reg­u­lar basis. Not a bad thing, but watch­ing the game, espe­cially if it’s the play­offs, may trump your plans or spontaneity.

8.His Bad Habits.—Does he gam­ble? Does he flirt with the help, like the wait­ress? Does he fail to keep up on the laun­dry? Does he inter­rupt you while you’re talk­ing? Keep an eye out for some of his warn­ing signs… Maybe they’re endear­ing at first, but these lit­tle nuggets of info let you know what you’re deal­ing with and just know these things prob­a­bly aren’t going any­where. Can you deal with them?

9.What does He Spend His Money on? —If you’re look­ing for a mature guy and he spends his money on comic book char­ac­ter bust sculp­tures, main­tain­ing his ten World of War­craft monthly mem­ber­ships or updat­ing his awe­some home enter­tain­ment sys­tem then that might be an issue. A guy that knows where he’s headed plans for it, saves for it and gets there by being a respon­si­ble spender. If he’s spend­ing things on more triv­ial items that may indi­cate that he’s more of a free fun lov­ing spirit… It really depends what you are look­ing for in order to know if either way he spends his money is bad for you.

10.How Does he Talk About Mom?—Again, there are no absolutes here, but if a guy has a poor rela­tion­ship with mom, that can some­times raise a red flag. The mom is one of the most impor­tant rela­tion­ships a guy devel­ops in his life­time. If a guy has issues with his mom then it can some­times be harder for him to under­stand, respect and even trust the new gal in his life. How­ever, if he’s had issues with his mom and can say, pos­i­tively, that he’s worked them out or that he knows they need improve­ment then that is a pos­i­tive. The other side to that is the mama’s boy. The guy who can’t get enough of mom and that puts you in a com­pe­ti­tion to win atten­tion from his mom…

Do these all work every time? Sev­enty per­cent of the time they work every time. So keep that in mind when read­ing up on this list.

Alex Vasquez is the founder and Creative Director of Design at DigiSavvy, Inc (digisavvy.com), a creative web design and social media marketing agency focusing on business branding based in Orange County, CA.

5 Simple Tips to Achieve Beautiful, Radiant, Summer Skin

Summertime is when we want our skin to glow, with radiant and flawless skin. It’s not always easy when the sun’s harmful rays are beating down on our delicate skin. Medical Aesthetician, Susan Perry, provides her expert tips to get that glow and prevent the number one cause of wrinkles, age spots, and premature aging – UV radiation.

Susan Says…

1.Check expiration dates: Check the expiration dates on your sunscreens. It’s a good idea to replace yearly and buy new ones to match to your skin type and needs. After you have thrown out the old ones, are you left with a great sunscreen that you love to use every day? Do you also have one for sport, for your body? Be sure to have the sunscreen for any occasion, on hand.

2.Best 2 in 1 product: Use a daily moisturizer that includes a full- spectrum SPF when you are indoors, near bright windows, or driving. UVA penetrates windows and damages unprotected skin. Elta MD sun care line provides a complete spectrum of sun care products, one for every skin type, and unique need.

3.Renew: Exfoliation revs up the circulation, removes dead skin cells, and gives your skin a glow. Light peels and microdermabrasion are great in office treatments. For take- home treatment, try a lovely citrus scrub for the face. Some of my favorite at-home products include Microdermabrasion Cream by Physicians Complex, BioMedic Micro Exfoliating Scrub for the Face and Body or Deep Thermal Cleanser from Societe.

4. Keep skin clear: Toners can also help clear away surface oils and grime while at the same time, they refresh, firm, and cool the skin. My favorite toners include Obagi Toner which is fresh and botanical for all skin types and Societe Conditioning Prep which tightens and brightens.

5. Protect: A typical white t- shirt gives about SPF7 and when it is wet –about SPF3. Columbia and Land’s End Sportswear offer lightweight clothing which protects up to 97.7% of harmful UV rays. These items of clothing are perfect for summer sailing or hiking.

This summer, be sun-smart and take care of your skin. Follow these five easy tips, and get skin that radiates all summer long!

About Susan Perry:
Originally from England, Susan completed her training in Applied Aesthetics and Physiatrics in London. She has been working with plastic surgeon, Dr. Donald Brown, since 1993.Together, she and Dr. Brown created one of the first medical skin care programs in the United States. Throughout her career, Susan Perry has been dedicated to continuing education and has attended many advanced training schools and seminars. She is devoted to exploring the latest, most advanced skin care techniques and products available, eagerly integrating the most effective and promising of these into the practice.

Quick “Hollywood” Makeup Tips

Do you think Hollywood starlets wake up looking camera ready? Guess again...they roll out of bed the same way we all do. Take these makeup tips, put on your best face and become your own starlet

That Face!

Preparing your face with foundation is like preparing a canvas to what comes next. Match color and tone from face to neck so there is no mask look. Just blend, and blend, for no foundation lines.

Inside tip: use a lighter color foundation under the eyes.

Apply a light dusting of powder over foundation to set it and make the look last longer. I stress "light dusting," because as we get older, that beautiful powder catches in the creases and, if I dare say, wrinkles, making them appear more noticeable. However, not using powder over foundation will cause it to fade faster.

A little rose blush or light bronzer in the hollow of the cheek will warm you up without giving you the "she has a ton of makeup on" look.

Did you say you wanted a natural look? You can look natural and flawless at the same time. Natural doesn't always mean wearing no makeup. Stay with browns and creams which will add a little kick to your features without going overboard with color. If your are feeling a little bold, then by all means use a little more color; but can we stay away from that flamingo pink lipstick please...

For Smokey Eyes

Try this signature look. Lightest color on lid and under brow bone. Warmest shade rounding off crease. The darkest color, for however dramatic you want to look, place under lash line about half way in depending on eye shape and out to corner of eye. Blend upward towards crease and fade outwards towards outside corner of brow. The deepness will look like a sideways "V" on the outside corner of your eye.

Eye Liner & Mascara

I suggest black for everyone because I love the dramatic look it creates. However, older or lighter skin and hair-tone women should opt for a less sharp affect and go with a brown or a plum gray.

Liquid liner is the best at not smudging or bleeding. It is my product of choice but if you can’t master the liquid application, which creates a sharp line, don’t use it. There are great pencil liners that work just as well. Using a thin line of liner across the top of the lid will make lashes appear longer and lush at the root but, don’t forget to curl lashes. No woman deserves to be without a “come hither” look that comes from curled lashes.

Lips

One key to remember, the dryer the product, the longer it will last and the less it will bleed. Lipliner first, followed by lipstick which is a bit creamier.

Blend it almost to the end of the lipliner so that you don't have that outlined lip look which was never "in" to begin with. Finish with a touch of clear or shimmer gloss dabbed only on the center of the bottom lip for a fuller look. Don't rub, just blot your lips together slightly so as not to cause the gloss to spread too far towards the outside of the lips.

Now, if you practice... this should take you no more than 10 minutes and you will be paparazzi-ready where ever you go. You are ready for your closeup!

Pat Cruz is a retired pageant and wedding makeup artist. For 15 years she worked backstage at fashion shows and pageants with contestants into the hundreds at single events. Pat traveled throughout the US and received a national and international following. Her signature was to create amazing looks by bringing out the best features naturally and fast. Each starlets look lasted for the duration of the competition or wedding day.

How to Harness the Power of Momentum

‘It’s like the wind at my back, the sun in my face. It’s like running down a grass-covered hill.’ ~Leo Babauta

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Katie Tallo of Momentum Gathering.

It can carry you like a strong current carries a fallen leaf. It can ground you like an early morning walk through the woods. It can move you like wind moves a cloud across the summer sky. It can ignite your spirit and make you feel like you can do anything.

It is momentum – that invisible, universal force that can saturate your every choice, your every step, your every breath, your every moment of resolve with vibrant, joyful energy. Momentum can surge you forward and it can pull you under. It goes with your flow, follows your lead and enhances your trajectory.

It can be harnessed, gathered and used as an incredibly transformational tool.

How do I know this to be true? I’ve been actively gathering momentum for almost six years now, ever since I quit smoking. That one simple yet meaningful change shifted my direction just enough to spark momentum. I triggered it without even knowing it. All I knew at the time was that if I could quit smoking after twenty years of trying, I could do anything. That’s what momentum feels like. It seeps into your pores and tingles the back of your neck.

It feels like possibility.

That one success of quitting smoking led to another success … and then another. I took up running and yoga after years of sedentary living. I became a mindful eater and adopted a vegetarian diet after a lifetime as a meat-eater. I felt like I was waking up. I became aware for the first time in my life that I could make different choices from the ones I’d been taught – from the ones that had become habits. I let go long held beliefs, pounds and lethargy.

Momentum was helping to shape a new me, inside and out.

I found inner strength after years of feeling like someone who repeatedly started a new exercise regime or eating regime only to quit a few weeks in. I now knew I was capable of profound and lasting change.

I gave up the haze of red wine soaked evenings and instead wrote the first draft of a novel I’d been talking about for a decade. Momentum was gathering all around me. Even the word, momentum, kept popping up everywhere like red cars do after you buy a red car. I was seeing the word in books, hearing it in random conversations, feeling it as I ran and waking up with it on the tip of my tongue.

Six months ago, while reading one of my favourite blogs, Leo’s blog, this very blog, I linked to another called Write to Done which carried me to yet another called The A-List Blogging Club. That’s when I decided to write a blog about momentum as a means to express it, sustain it, understand it, embrace it, share it, inspire it in others and live it completely.

Momentum has propelled me and supported me.

It has been like a coach, mentor and teammate, and it has been my constant companion for the past six years of incredible life change and over the past six months of my new venture. It has ushered into my life the unexpected gifts of friendship, community, passion and life purpose. I have harnessed momentum and I never want to let it go.

How can you begin to gather momentum in your own life and make it work for you? How can you harness it’s power to create lasting and joyful life change? Simply let it.

Let momentum carry you

Dip into the warm waters of momentum by trying, experimenting, taking a first step, forgiving yourself for slip-ups and then trying again. Plunge into whatever you’ve been putting off for “some day” and make today the day you begin. Imagine how incredible it will feel to let the current of momentum carry you from this one success towards another. Each can be a wave you ride to the next.

Let momentum ground you

Feel the earth beneath your feet as you step in a direction that makes sense to you – just you. Ground yourself in the feeling that comes from reflecting upon what you believe in, doing what feels right to you and living by your own convictions, counsel and sense of right and wrong. Get solid about who you are and then feel the power and ease with which your choices come to you.

Let momentum move you

Take that first step in a direction of your own choosing, then with each bold statement, each strong stride, each clear-thinking choice let momentum joyously lift you higher and farther. Exceed your own expectations and strengthen your resolve to be who you were meant to be and nothing less. Don’t strive and stress – instead simplify and find success on your terms.

Let momentum ignite you

Once you feel it growing, let momentum fan the fire inside you – a fire that may have been burnt out or smoldering under the surface for a long time. Let yourself feel love and passion towards yourself, your life and everything you do then begin to recover, uncover or discover your true potential. If often leaps out of the flames.

Momentum thrives on you.

It is the water, the earth, the wind and the fire of your being. It embodies the elements of a life lived fully and on your own terms. It can fill your heart, sooth your soul, propel your body forward and, if you let it, momentum just might make you feel like you can do anything – and then likely, you can and will.

Katie Tallo seeks to inspire simple, joyful life change at Momentum Gathering. Her new book is The 7-Week Life Cleanse: A Simple Guide to Infusing Your Life With Momentum.

Romantic Attachment

Romantic Attachment
By: Dr. Jeanine Austin


Many years ago I remember sitting outside with my friend on Huntington Harbor and having a big cry. I had just broken-up with a boyfriend and I felt devastated. As Liz pushed my long hair from the tears it was stuck to on my face she said, “Jeanine, you are one romantic fool!” Suddenly, we started laughing! It was true; I was one big romantic fool!

Romance can be a big seduction in our culture, and I, like many others, have not been immune. Buddhist nun Pema Chodron has distilled the three poisons of our perceptions as: passion, aggression, and ignorance. For the purposes of this article, we will focus on the poison of passion.

I can “hear” many of my readers thinking, “What is so wrong with romantic passion? It is what makes the world go around.” In fact, that may have also been my perceptive error. What I have come to find is that love does make the world go around, divine, or healthy romantic love being very much a part of that equation. After all, love is the highest law. However, when we are derailed, attached, suffering, jealous, competitive, and insecure or some other untoward emotion as a result of our romantic passions, we may have to “shake free” and move toward true or divine love again.

Untoward romantic attachment (and we know it is untoward when it begins to limit our good) may lead us to either repress our feeling or act them out. For example, we may pretend we don’t really care that much or become angry at the “object” of our affection. Possibly, we act on our feelings with heavy expectation and lust.

Attachment to passion is some of what Christian thinking is talking about in relation to the concept of idolatry. The romance/person becomes our idol. Rather than really relating to the person, our desire becomes the most important thing in our life. We want that next fix. After awhile we might not even get high any longer or the good feelings become short lasting. We have become attached, addicted, and distorted in our thinking.


We often can’t enjoy what is here and now because we want to indulge our passions. Pema Chodron writes about the distracting quality of passion. In Start Where You Are she humorously writes, “And then there’s good old Mortimer, that person who is sitting next to you in the mediation hall, or perhaps someone who works in your office. Some people are lusting when they see Mortimer. He looks wonderful to them. A lot of their discursive thought is taken up with what they want to do with Mortimer.”

Most of us have been distracted by a Mortimer or two. To move towards realignment we may try and let our Mortimer free. We may start with the intention to release Mortimer from our expectations. Even a prayer such as, “Dear God, I am so attached to the idea of form that I want to share with Mortimer. Please release me from the shackles of my desires and let me love Mortimer independent of attachment and need.” Even just the intention to liberate yourself can make such a shift that you can begin to use your passions in a deliberate, positive, and healthy way.

The old adage about setting the butterfly free is a wonderful one. When we let our butterfly free, we also become free.

Rather than acting out or repressing our passions we may choose to go the gentle middle road with them. We can sit with them and just be with them. This can feel really uncomfortable, but also can give us insight and empowerment that we never get when we try to avoid the message of our passion.

Leo Babauta has one of my favorite blog sites. Here is one of his latest posts.

Get Off Your Butt: 16 Ways to Get Motivated When You’re in a Slump

Post written by Leo Babauta.

Even the most motivated of us — you, me, Tony Robbins — can feel unmotivated at times. In fact, sometimes we get into such a slump that even thinking about making positive changes seems too difficult.

But it’s not hopeless: with some small steps, baby ones in fact, you can get started down the road to positive change.

Yes, I know, it seems impossible at times. You don’t feel like doing anything. I’ve been there, and in fact I still feel that way from time to time. You’re not alone. But I’ve learned a few ways to break out of a slump, and we’ll take a look at those today.

This post was inspired by reader Roy C. Carlson, who asked:

“I was wondering if you could do a piece on why it can be hard for someone to change direction and start taking control of their life. I have to say I’m in this boat and advice on getting out of my slump would be great.”

Roy is just one of many with a slump like that. Again, I feel that way sometimes myself, and in fact sometimes I struggle to motivate myself to exercise — and I’ll use that as an example of how to break out of the slump.

When I fall out of exercise, due to illness or injury or disruption from things going on in my life, it’s hard to get started again. I don’t even feel like thinking about it, sometimes. But I’ve always found a way to break out of that slump, and here are some things I’ve learned that have helped:

One Goal. Whenever I’ve been in a slump, I’ve discovered that it’s often because I have too much going on in my life. I’m trying to do too much. And it saps my energy and motivation. It’s probably the most common mistake that people make: they try to take on too much, try to accomplish too many goals at once. You cannot maintain energy and focus (the two most important things in accomplishing a goal) if you are trying to do two or more goals at once. It’s not possible — I’ve tried it many times. You have to choose one goal, for now, and focus on it completely. I know, that’s hard. Still, I speak from experience. You can always do your other goals when you’ve accomplished your One Goal.

Find inspiration. Inspiration, for me, comes from others who have achieved what I want to achieve, or who are currently doing it. I read other blogs, books, magazines. I Google my goal, and read success stories. Zen Habits is just one place for inspiration, not only from me but from many readers who have achieved amazing things.

Get excited. This sounds obvious, but most people don’t think about it much: if you want to break out of a slump, get yourself excited about a goal. But how can you do that when you don’t feel motivated? Well, it starts with inspiration from others (see above), but you have to take that excitement and build on it. For me, I’ve learned that by talking to my wife about it, and to others, and reading as much about it as possible, and visualizing what it would be like to be successful (seeing the benefits of the goal in my head), I get excited about a goal. Once I’ve done that, it’s just a matter of carrying that energy forward and keeping it going.

Build anticipation. This will sound hard, and many people will skip this tip. But it really works. It helped me quit smoking after many failed attempts. If you find inspiration and want to do a goal, don’t start right away. Many of us will get excited and want to start today. That’s a mistake. Set a date in the future — a week or two, or even a month — and make that your Start Date. Mark it on the calendar.

Get excited about that date. Make it the most important date in your life. In the meantime, start writing out a plan. And do some of the steps below. Because by delaying your start, you are building anticipation, and increasing your focus and energy for your goal.

Post your goal. Print out your goal in big words. Make your goal just a few words long, like a mantra (“Exercise 15 mins. Daily”), and post it up on your wall or refrigerator. Post it at home and work. Put it on your computer desktop. You want to have big reminders about your goal, to keep your focus and keep your excitement going. A picture of your goal (like a model with sexy abs, for example) also helps.

Commit publicly. None of us likes to look bad in front of others. We will go the extra mile to do something we’ve said publicly. For example, when I wanted to run my first marathon, I started writing a column about it in my local daily newspaper. The entire island of Guam (pop. 160K) knew about my goal. I couldn’t back down, and even though my motivation came and went, I stuck with it and completed it. Now, you don’t have to commit to your goal in your daily newspaper, but you can do it with friends and family and co-workers, and you can do it on your blog if you have one. And hold yourself accountable — don’t just commit once, but commit to giving progress updates to everyone every week or so.

Think about it daily. If you think about your goal every day, it is much more likely to become true. To this end, posting the goal on your wall or computer desktop (as mentioned above) helps a lot. Sending yourself daily reminders also helps. And if you can commit to doing one small thing to further your goal (even just 5 minutes) every single day, your goal will almost certainly come true.

Get support. It’s hard to accomplish something alone. When I decided to run my marathon, I had the help of friends and family, and I had a great running community on Guam who encouraged me at 5K races and did long runs with me. When I decided to quit smoking, I joined an online forum and that helped tremendously. And of course, my wife Eva helped every step of the way. I couldn’t have done these goals without her, or without the others who supported me. Find your support network, either in the real world or online, or both.

Realize that there’s an ebb and flow. Motivation is not a constant thing that is always there for you. It comes and goes, and comes and goes again, like the tide. But realize that while it may go away, it doesn’t do so permanently. It will come back. Just stick it out and wait for that motivation to come back. In the meantime, read about your goal (see below), ask for help (see below), and do some of the other things listed here until your motivation comes back.

Stick with it. Whatever you do, don’t give up. Even if you aren’t feeling any motivation today, or this week, don’t give up. Again, that motivation will come back. Think of your goal as a long journey, and your slump is just a little bump in the road. You can’t give up with every little bump. Stay with it for the long term, ride out the ebbs and surf on the flows, and you’ll get there.

Start small. Really small. If you are having a hard time getting started, it may be because you’re thinking too big. If you want to exercise, for example, you may be thinking that you have to do these intense workouts 5 days a week. No — instead, do small, tiny, baby steps. Just do 2 minutes of exercise. I know, that sounds wimpy. But it works. Commit to 2 minutes of exercise for one week. You may want to do more, but just stick to 2 minutes. It’s so easy, you can’t fail. Do it at the same time, every day. Just some crunches, 2 pushups, and some jogging in place. Once you’ve done 2 minutes a day for a week, increase it to 5, and stick with that for a week. In a month, you’ll be doing 15-20. Want to wake up early? Don’t think about waking at 5 a.m. Instead, think about waking 10 minutes earlier for a week. That’s all. Once you’ve done that, wake 10 minutes earlier than that. Baby steps.

Build on small successes. Again, if you start small for a week, you’re going to be successful. You can’t fail if you start with something ridiculously easy. Who can’t exercise for 2 minutes? (If that’s you, I apologize.) And you’ll feel successful, and good about yourself. Take that successful feeling and build on it, with another baby step. Add 2-3 minutes to your exercise routine, for example. With each step (and each step should last about a week), you will feel even more successful. Make each step really, really small, and you won’t fail. After a couple of months, your tiny steps will add up to a lot of progress and a lot of success.

Read about it daily. When I lose motivation, I just read a book or blog about my goal. It inspires me and reinvigorates me. For some reason, reading helps motivate and focus you on whatever you’re reading about. So read about your goal every day, if you can, especially when you’re not feeling motivated.

Call for help when your motivation ebbs. Having trouble? Ask for help. Email me. Join an online forum. Get a partner to join you. Call your mom. It doesn’t matter who, just tell them your problems, and talking about it will help. Ask them for advice. Ask them to help you overcome your slump. It works.

Think about the benefits, not the difficulties. One common problem is that we think about how hard something is. Exercise sounds so hard! Just thinking about it makes you tired. But instead of thinking about how hard something is, think about what you will get out of it. For example, instead of thinking about how tiring exercise can be, focus on how good you’ll feel when you’re done, and how you’ll be healthier and slimmer over the long run. The benefits of something will help energize you.

Squash negative thoughts; replace them with positive ones. Along those lines, it’s important to start monitoring your thoughts. Recognize negative self-talk, which is really what’s causing your slump. Just spend a few days becoming aware of every negative thought. Then, after a few days, try squashing those negative thoughts like a bug, and then replacing them with a corresponding positive thought. Squash, “This is too hard!” and replace it with, “I can do this! If that wimp Leo can do it, so can I!” It sounds corny, but it works. Really.

Start getting ready to save some pennies for holiday shopping...

Here are a few little tips to help you put some pennies aside for the holidays. Thank you to billshrink.com for this information.

Lay Off the Starbucks = $160 savings over next few months

A tall coffee at Starbucks approaches $2.00. If you drink one of those every weekday, you’re spending $10 a week, $40 per month and roughly $520 per year. (And this is one of the cheapest items at Starbucks!)

If you absolutely need a caffeine fix every day, consider making your own coffee. After about $15 to buy the coffee maker and the filters, a bag of coffee only costs $8 and will keep you awake for weeks.

If you’re not a coffee drinker, see what other “daily luxuries” you may enjoy. Whether it’s micro-brewed beer, gourmet chocolates or a Ben & Jerry’s addiction, cutting back -- or substituting a cheaper alternative -- can easily buy a few gifts for the family.

Bottled Water = $78 savings over the next few months

Water is one of those things that you should try not to pay for. With 2/3 of the world covered in water and filters that convert “tap water” to filtered water (such as a Brita) for about $20, you should stick to filling up a water bottle rather than shelling out $1-2 for bottled water. If you buy bottled water a few times a week, you can save over $200 a year and about $80 by the time Christmas rolls around.

Gas = $87 savings over the next few months

BillShrink.com found that gas prices vary as much $.50 per gallon in the same neighborhood. This means that by simply driving to a nearby gas station, you can save $260 a year. Use BillShrink’s gas comparison tool to find the cheapest gas on your commute for the next 4 months and you could be looking at an extra $87 bucks in your pocket.

Ease Up on Eating Out = $520 savings over the next few months

Eating at home is not only healthier, but it is also much cheaper. When you eat out, you are paying a mark-up for not only your meal and drinks, but also for the service that comes with it. Try staying in two nights a week and save about $30 a person. If you continue this until the holidays, you’ll have saved $520 – enough to treat the whole family to a nice Christmas dinner.

If cutting out dinner is too hard, try packing your lunch rather than going out and dropping $6 during work. This will also save you about $30 a week and by combining the two, you’ll double your savings and have some delicious leftovers to bring for lunch the next day.

Quit Smoking = $347 savings over next few months

The cost of smoking is not getting any cheaper with an average pack costing between $4-6. If you smoke four packs a week, you’ll pay over $1000 a year. Since quitting smoking is easier said than done, it may be worth it use some of those savings on nicotine patches or gum to help you quit.

The caveat of this strategy is that you’ve got to want to quit smoking in order for this to work. While you can save some money doing this, you’re not going to be able to use that as motivation alone. You’ll need to weigh the other benefits of quitting as well and determine the reason why it’s time for you to quite now.

Turn Down the Monthly Fixed Costs = ~$200 savings over few months

According to BillShrink, most people are overpaying for their cell phone plan. By simply visiting BillShrink or other comparison sites, you can quickly analyze your wireless, credit card and cable plan. If you’re paying for more cell minutes or texts than you need, you could be losing $420 a year and the same goes for the cash-back rewards you could be missing out on from your credit card and the extra channels you pay for that you never watch on your TV. By only paying for what you use, you could save nearly $200 over four months.
If you already have the best plans for you, feel free to call up your phone or cable provider and try to negotiate a better price. Since it is cheaper for them to retain current customers than get new ones, they want to keep you from leaving and keep you happy. See if they have any specials that will entice you to stay.

And if you still find yourself short of Christmas cash, just remember: you can always sell things on eBay. After all, getting rid of old stuff is the best way to prepare for this year’s new stuff.

Car Purchasing Tips for Women

I receive articles every day to be considered for publication in SNEWoman Magazine. Unfortunately, we just can't fit them all in the issues. That being said; I've decided to post some of the articles received here on the blog for your review. Hopefully you will get some great information out of them and on a regular basis. This particular article was submitted regarding Women and Car Purchases. Happy Reading!

Car Purchasing Tips for Women

The automobile industry is changing the way people purchase or lease vehicles. This article is to point out how women should adapt their automobile needs and finances to work best for their overall lifestyles. Here are some interesting facts and statistics :

1. Women buy more than 65% of all new vehicles, and even if they're not the ones signing the check, they are a decisive influence in 93% of all vehicle purchases, according to Road And Travel Magazine's market research.

2. J.D. Powers and Associates found that female car buyers pay an average of 0.2% more on their cars.

3. According to a Consumer Reports survey, 69% of women use a variety of sources to research before buying a car, compared to 86% of men. Women also seem to be shy about negotiating the price, with 68% of women talking numbers with the dealer, as opposed to 76% of men.

Now that we can see that women are the primary buyers, lets put some helpful hints together for you to make your buying experience, a smarter and more efficient one.

A. Identify your financial situation before you start. Determine how much you can spend on a vehicle per month if you should have a payment. Find out your credit score before you start.

B. Should you lease or buy? If you like to change vehicles every 2-3 years, you drive 15,000 miles or less per year, and you don't plan on putting a lot of money as a down payment, then leasing may be the way to go. The example I give is that a women buys a $25,000 car. She takes a 72 month car loan of $349 per month. Adding up the cost of tires, brakes, etch, her monthly cost will rise to $400 per month. Wouldn't it make sense to lease a NEW vehicle for 36 months , then get another one after that? Many women say well "I don't own the leased car" When you have a 72 month loan, you don't own that car either. Decide if it makes sense to pay a loan of $350 per month after 3 years with 3 years left? At this halfway point in your loan, you may have already lost 50% of its value.

C. DON'T buy a payment, buy or lease the vehicle that you WANT. So many people buy a car for the payment and end up disliking the car for years as they write their monthly loan check. Even worse, some people trade their car in and lose thousands of dollars, trying to buy a payment, instead of the RIGHT vehicle for themselves.

D. Consider insurance, gas mileage, and property taxes, as part of your monthly vehicle expenses.

E. Should you look at new or preowned? Preowned is a great option if you can purchase a 2-3 year old vehicle with an extended certified warrantee. (extend the original new car warrantee for additional time)

F. Do your research on the internet. Many purchases are done over the internet today. It's a great resource tool!

G. Go to a dealer who, you trust with a great service department. When you go to the showroom after doing your due diligence, make sure the salesperson you are dealing with, feels comfortable to you. If not, ask the Sales Manager to speak to another person. You need to feel that the sales person is working in your best interest and that you can put your trust in them to help you make the right decisions.

Robert Fioravanti is a Corporate Sales Director at Inskip Automall and can be reached at rfioravanti@penskeautomotive.com.